Jessica Alba: Pregnant Prophet

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Jessica Alba: Pregnant Prophet

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

For all those knocked up women who know exactly what kind of parent they'll be--a reality check.

Jessica Alba revealed her mothering plans to Fit Pregnancy:

"I don't want to be my child's best friend. I want to be a mom, but I do want my child to come to me when they have problems. It's going to be about treading the line."

Oh, sweet, sweet, naive Jessica. Let us clue you into this one fact: You don't know what kind of mother you're going to be until you've been up for three nights in a row, covered in spit-up with a screaming colicky baby. You know what they say "If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, so is motherhood"...or something like that.

Here are a few other things we've told ourselves pre-baby and the harsh reality when the actual time comes.

Pre-Baby Delusion	Post-Baby Reality
I will never yell at my child	Say that after you catch your 5-year-old cutting a square of carpet out of your living room rug for her dollhouse floor.
My kid will be so well-behaved they'll never misbehave in the supermarket.	Sorry, now it's your turn to endure the stares and judgment of others. All kids freak out in stores. Clean up on aisle 6, anyone?
I will not be overprotective or snoop in my child's personal belongings.	Mmm hmmm...If you don't count hacking into your teen's MySpace account or planting a GPS device in their sneakers as snooping....

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All I can hope for is that I teach my child the meaning of right and wrong and how to recognize a situation that they probably should not be in. AND if I do my job right, they will not be in jail at any time or parent A child. Those are the big two, but I have 7654 more that I hope they do not do before the age of majority. THAT list is just for the boys. The girls list eclipses 20,000.

- Daryl

Posted 05/20/08 04:30 PM

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