How much of your past should you share with your kids?

A story in the Washington Post yesterday called "Maternal Truths" got us thinking about our Mommy secrets. Many (if not most) Moms admit to having experiences in their teens and twenties that they'd like to forget -- such as getting drunk, experimenting with drugs, or having one-night-stands. The question is: Should we share those details with our children so they don't repeat them, or do we withhold the info and just allow our kids to learn from their own mistakes?

We asked friend of momlogic Counseling Mom Rosanne Tobey, L.P.C., whether Moms should share those sorts of war stories with our kids.

"There is no single answer to whether you should tell your children," she says. "Do not feel that you owe it to your children to divulge your past if you are not inclined to do so. As parents, we still have a right to our privacy. We may be no more inclined to share some aspects of our past with our children than we are, with say, a neighbor. We have a right to keep our pasts private if we choose."

If you do decide to tell all, Rosanne offers the following tips:

• Give a bit of helpful information: Usually if a teen is struggling with something and asks you for help, they are looking to you for insight. Information should then be shared sparingly in a way that reflects your child's needs and your current values. For instance, your children probably don't really want to know that you slept around or that you were a pothead. Who wants to envision their parents this way?
• Use common sense: Do not offer too much information to young people who do not have the perspective that it has taken you 20 years, and the birth of a child, to gain. But, that said, there will be times that our kids could really use some input from someone who has travelled this road already. In that case, only tell what is necessary to make your point.
• You do not need to answer a question just because someone asked it: Respect your own boundaries, and your children will learn to respect them as well.

Would you tell your kids about a mistake you made when you were a teen?